Posts Tagged ‘What to Say’

What to Say?

Wednesday, September 11th, 2013

crying  angel, figure on  Ixelles Cemetery (French:   CimetiereDear Kelly: I read your column on listening. However, sometimes one just must say something. What are the appropriate words to say when someone is grieving?

Dear Reader: Sometimes it is really hard to say just the right words to a person who is grieving. It can tend to be an awkward moment for both parties involved. The person who isn’t grieving stumbles around and tries to find something they think won’t offend the grieving person. This isn’t surprising since we aren’t taught how to grieve or to help a grieving person. At Beyond Indigo many of our grieving members talk about the words that are not helpful. One of our volunteers, Jim, lost his son two years ago and this is what he says about certain pat phrases people have given him and his feelings about these sayings.

“He (She) is with God!”  I am sure that is the case, but they shouldn’t be with God; they should be here with us. (more…)